Success is like a magic word—everyone wants it, even when they can’t define it. So what does it mean to be successful in life? While the definition of success varies from person to person, it’s rarely about wealth or fame. Being successful is about achieving goals that bring personal fulfillment and happiness, whether they’re related to your career, personal life or well-being.
As Jim Rohn said, “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” If we don’t find out what our unique definition of success is, we might end up climbing the wrong ladder. That ladder will take us to someone else’s definition of success, which will only lead to realizing we achieved the wrong goals.
Those who have achieved success are crystal clear on what it means to reach the top, for them. Having a strong definition of what success means to us is critical, and these pointers can help you discover it for yourself.
What Success Is Not
Before we can pursue success, we need to understand what success isn’t.
True Success Is Not An Idea Imposed On Us By Others
If you spend just a few minutes on social media, you’ll notice how many people seem to have perfect families, million-dollar businesses or thousands of followers.
This may give you the impression that you need to be like them to succeed—but don’t forget that you’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg. Plus, those seemingly perfect lives may lead you to define success in a way that’s not right for you because it doesn’t match your values.
Throughout childhood and early adulthood, we learn various ideas of success from our parents, teachers and friends. Everyone has their agenda and idea of who and what we should be. Although it’s OK to value the opinions and hopes of others, we shouldn’t necessarily adopt them as our own. No one can impose their version of success upon us. No one can tell us what it means to live a good life.
Real Success Isn’t Just About A Specific Achievement
It’s easy to assume that success means obtaining a specific object, such as a job or social status, and to believe that if we get that thing, we’ll be successful. However, if we rest our definition of success on one or two achievements, there’s a good chance we’ll be disappointed.
Common Pitfalls To Avoid When Defining Success
Scott Shute, keynote speaker and former head of mindfulness and compassion programs at LinkedIn, talks about some of the common pitfalls when defining success:
- Looking for external validation: A “well done” can go a long way. But it’s far from the only measure of success. Doing what others expect from you will not necessarily make you happy. Even when you become successful in their eyes, you won’t feel fulfilled.
- Overidentifying with your career: When your career becomes your entire identity, you may miss out on other areas of life, such as relationships and well-being.
- Comparing yourself to others: Everyone’s path is different. Just because someone seems a little ahead of you doesn’t mean they’re more successful. Instead of comparing your journey to others, look at your past self to see how far you’ve come.
What Does Success Mean To You? Looking At 5 Key Aspects
Some people find that helping others brings them the most joy. Others realize that building a business is what makes them feel fulfilled. Some want to live their lives in a quiet place, while others prefer to be in big cities, in constant action. Each path is unique, and the key is finding what truly resonates with you. There’s no right or wrong way to live your life and define your success.
Remember that success is often multifaceted—which means there are different aspects of it, including:
- Emotional: Feeling good about yourself, achieving peace of mind and not giving in to external expectations
- Social: Building strong relationships with partners, friends, family or colleagues
- Financial: Achieving financial security and being able to finance your dream lifestyle or support your dependents
- Occupational: Being fulfilled with your job, both emotionally and financially
- Physical: Taking good care of your body and mind
Your culture, background or gender may also affect how you define success, so it’s helpful to be aware of these factors when you create your personal definition of success.
How To Define What Success Means For You
Your journey to success lies in discovering the right balance between these different aspects of success and how they align with what truly brings you happiness. Asking yourself the question “What makes me happy?” can go a long way.
Figuring out what you’ve already accomplished can help you define success. Setting clear goals and staying motivated can also help on your journey to identify what success means to you. Here are a few steps that can help you make it happen:
Figure Out How You’re Already Successful
You might be surprised to find out that, in many ways, you’re already successful. Maybe you have great long-term friends, you’ve been doing regular exercise for years or you managed to reach your financial goals this past year. These are all signs of success, though they all represent a different aspect of it.
If we assume that we are failures until we reach a specific big goal, it can skew our view of success. Before you can begin moving forward, it can be helpful to assess where you’re at now. This is a time for honest evaluation, not rose-colored glasses. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
- Where have I already seen success in my life?
- How can I continue building on that success?
- What lessons have I learned from those successes?
- What have I learned about myself from those successes?
- What are my weaknesses and strengths?
Reaching certain milestones is an element of success, but we don’t stop there. We can push higher and harder, striving for more and to be better. If it helps, bring in a friend or colleague to act as a real and unbiased sounding board.
Determine What Matters Most To You In Defining Success
Tony Robbins said, “The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” But how do we find our path? What steps do we take to achieve true success? One way to start is by asking yourself some specific questions about your values and what matters most to you.
Answering these questions could help:
- What truly matters to me?
- What are the things that set me on fire with passion?
- What do I want to make of my life?
- What lifestyle do I want to achieve?
- Who do I want to be?
- What do people come to me for?
- What do I want people to say about me after I die?
The answers to these questions are most helpful when they are ultra-specific. It’s not enough to say, “What really matters to me is happiness.” Instead, think about your reason for living. The Japanese call this concept ikigai. To find your ikigai, think about what you love, what you’re good at, what you can get paid for and what the world needs. The point they all overlap is your ikigai.
Set Specific Goals (And Achieve Them)
After that, it’s time to set some specific goals. You can use the SMART technique as a starting point. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound. If your goals check all the boxes for the SMART rule, you’ll be able to measure your short-term and long-term success.
For example, instead of saying, “I want a new job,” be more specific and say, “I’d like to start a better-paid job in marketing by September.” You can then plan your path to how to achieve your goal. In this case, it would be looking at job boards, networking and applying for jobs until September. You can also use other goal-setting methods to help you set and achieve specific goals that fit your personality and definition of success.
Stay Motivated And Learn From Failures
After you’ve set your purpose and goals, all you have to do is pursue them. No matter how hard it is, remember your “why” and stay motivated.
Sometimes, the greatest successes result from the worst failures. For example, before becoming a U.S. president, Abraham Lincoln…
- Was defeated for the state legislature
- Lost in his bid for speaker of the house
- Was defeated in the nomination for Congress
- Lost in a campaign for the U.S. Senate (twice)
Case Studies And Real-Life Examples Of Success
Here are a few case studies highlighting unique definitions of success to use as inspiration.
Simone Biles: Emotional Health Supports Occupational Success
In 2021, during the Tokyo Olympic Games, gymnast Simone Biles announced she was withdrawing from the competition because of mental health issues.
Biles received many criticisms. Some people claimed that she let her team and country down, and as an elite athlete, she should have handled the pressure better. Despite these negative opinions, Biles focused on her own definition of success and prioritized her mental health. In 2022, she became the youngest person to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and in the 2024 Olympics, she brought a gold medal to Team USA.
Patagonia: Values Shape A Successful Business
In 2012, Patagonia became the first “benefit corporation” in California, aiming to tackle the apparel industry’s significant environmental impact. It also introduced environmentally friendly initiatives like Worn Wear. This allowed customers to trade, repair, and buy used Patagonia products.
Patagonia expects to contribute a $100 million annual dividend to sustainable projects, and has extended clothing life by nine months thanks to the Worn Wear program. Overall, the company is a great example of how staying true to our values helps achieve emotional, financial, and occupational success.
Oprah Winfrey: The Importance Of Finding Your Why
Media mogul, talk show host and philanthropist Oprah Winfrey had a successful television career ever since she was 19. But, around a decade later, she decided that she only wanted to interview people she aligned with.
After her decision, The Oprah Winfrey Show had its big breakthrough, resonating with millions of people around the world. A Harvard Business School case study on Winfrey’s success looks at her “own evolving conception of her purpose and path,” highlighting a focus on what matters most to her. Winfrey’s story suggests that success starts with finding your why and being true to yourself. Otherwise, you’d be living someone else’s version of success.
Success Is Personal
Everyone defines success differently. And sometimes, these definitions change. The reason for this may be related to where we’re at in life, shifting priorities, life-changing events or simply a change of heart.
When defining success, note that it’s personal. Choose yourself when defining success—make it align with your goals, your health and your objectives at the time. Success will follow.
FAQs
What Does It Mean For Someone To Be Successful?
Being successful means achieving your life goals, no matter what they are. Success can be found when your values match your accomplishments. This ultimately brings personal fulfillment and happiness. These goals can be related to work, health, relationships or other areas.
What Is The Definition Of Being Successful?
The definition of being successful depends on the person. Everyone has different goals, and people who have achieved or who are working toward achieving their goals are considered successful.
What Is The Real Meaning Of Success?
The real meaning of success is defined by an individual’s goals. For some, it may mean achieving a career milestone, and for others, it may mean maintaining a healthy lifestyle. The idea of success is relative, but it’s personal, meaningful and involves achieving or accomplishing things that matter most to you in life.
This article was published in February 2017 and has been updated. Photo by JLco Julia Amaral/Shutterstock
