Can a few minutes a day truly transform your mindset? I didn’t think it was possible—but I was wrong.
Most of us have heard about emotional intelligence and the rising importance employers are placing on this factor in hiring decisions. But have you heard about positive intelligence (PQ)? I hadn’t either until a coach friend mentioned it to me.
What is positive intelligence?
PQ is a transformative approach that uses brief, daily mindfulness practices to shift from a reactive survival brain to a calmer, more compassionate “sage” state.
Earlier this year, I completed a coaching program on PQ from Shirzad Chamine, who quite literally wrote the book on PQ. One of the main parts of this program is practicing mental fitness. This means shifting your brain out of the self-sabotaging survival brain and into your higher brain—your sage.
Practicing this skill is how you can create a strong mental muscle. The more you practice, the more you learn how to redirect your brain. As you continue to train your brain, you’ll develop new neural pathways and will be able to make the shift from saboteur to sage more quickly.
How positive intelligence works
One way that Chamine’s program builds your mental muscle is by encouraging you to practice mini mindset shifts throughout the day. An example of how you can do this is to focus on feeling your feet on the ground if you’re standing or walking. Another technique is to find all your toes in your shoes and focus on wiggling each one. Paying attention to your senses really gets you back into your body.
The first time I tried this, I was surprised by how simple it was and how quickly it helped me shift my mental mood. It was morning, and I was trying to get my son dressed and to school on time. But things were not going as quickly as I wanted. I found myself getting frustrated and wanting to yell at my child.
Instead of yelling, I paused for a moment and rubbed my fingertips together with such attention that I could feel all the ridges and bumps (and little hangnails) on them. I took a few deep breaths and kept focusing on my fingertips. It felt a bit strange and silly at first, but after a minute, I was much calmer—and I didn’t yell at my child! I ultimately realized that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if we were a few minutes late.
You can do nearly anything to achieve this same effect. Try focusing on feeling the warmth of your mug when you’re drinking your morning coffee, the cool breeze on your face when you step outside, the hot water on your skin when you wash your hands or the soft pillow beneath your head when you’re lying in bed. It’s amazing how many little moments you can find throughout the day to practice with.
Connecting with your inner child
Another tool from the PQ coaching program that I found incredibly powerful was called “imagine the child.” One of the weekly sessions was a visualization exercise that involved looking at a picture of yourself as a child. As you look at the picture, you’re supposed to think back to that time in your life and visualize what you might have been doing. Where were you? What made you happy? What was your favorite game to play? Truly look into the eyes of your child self and see the essence of this completely worthy and lovable being.
Now look from the childhood photo to your reflection in a mirror. Look into your eyes and see that child in them. This may sound kooky, but I honestly couldn’t believe how powerful this exercise was for me. It instantly evoked so much compassion and unconditional love for myself. It also reminded me of some things I loved as a child, like sitting in a hammock and reading a book. Why wasn’t I doing more of those things today?
I also use this tool when I find myself getting frustrated and upset with someone else. I try to envision the other person as a child full of innocence and beauty or think about what they may have been like as a kid. Doing this can help you access empathy and respond in a calmer, more loving way.
Breaking the meditation myth
Previously, I believed that significant mindset transformation required extensive meditation or a month-long spiritual retreat in an ashram in India. However, through Chamine’s PQ coaching program, I discovered that engaging in just a few minutes of daily mental fitness practices each day can create remarkable changes.
Photo credit: GaudiLab/Shutterstock.com
