Your life’s purpose gives you a sense of aliveness, says life coach and international speaker Mary Morrissey. It provides a feeling that life is meaningful and that you are progressing toward a goal. Having a life’s purpose doesn’t just feel good—it’s also good for your mental health. Knowing what your purpose is has been associated with decreased levels of depression and anxiety. So how do you find it?
Morrissey, who holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology, has facilitated three weeklong meetings with His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama and has authored two bestselling books, Building Your Field of Dreams and No Less Than Greatness, says that there are simple ways to attune to what will give you a greater sense of aliveness, fulfillment and meaning. Finding your purpose in life is an individual process. “There’s no one purpose for everyone,” she says. Discovering your purpose starts with closing your eyes, reflecting and asking yourself three questions.
Step 1: Ask yourself what makes yourself feel most alive
For many people, reflecting on this prompt to discover your life’s purpose brings vivid moments to mind—as it did for one of Morrissey’s clients, who could picture herself planting tiny seeds in Dixie cups and cultivating fragrant flowers each spring.
The moments you identify and focus on don’t necessarily have to be tied to earning money, even if this line of inquiry may ultimately lead to career changes. “That’s not the first question because that money will ultimately leave you bankrupt in other parts of your life. … You won’t have a life that you absolutely love while you’re living,” Morrissey says. Nor do you necessarily need to identify an area in which you have skills or education. In fact, doing so may be limiting.
Step 2: Ask yourself what you’re naturally good at
Think about what you feel good doing—and things you’ve done that other people have told you you’re good at. It could be volunteer or paid work, but either way, think about your innate talents, abilities and skills.
Step 3: Ask how you can make a difference for others
“You want to put yourself inside the circle of concern, of course,” Morrissey says. “But there’s more good in it than just for yourself. So does what I’m creating [or] what I’m doing with my time… [create] good for others? Because that’s a different kind of payment than the cash that you’ll earn.”
Once you’ve answered these questions for yourself, it’s time to start putting this vision into action with five additional steps.
Step 4: Notice patterns
With your vision work done, it’s time to take these ideas into the real world. Start to notice patterns and see if and how they reinforce your brainstorming. Do you truly feel alive when flying a drone? Are you naturally good at painting? Does planting flowers to make beautiful bouquets provide joy for others? Noticing these patterns will help you reinforce or adjust your blueprint.
Step 5: Write your purpose statement
A purpose statement is a concise declaration based on what makes you come alive, what you’re naturally good at, and what good you can use it for in others’ lives. Research supports the efficacy of writing down your goals—and writing down your purpose statement is no different, Morrissey says. Doing so activates your brain and helps you notice things that support this statement.
Step 6: Visualize your life’s purpose
“Finding your purpose holds little value if you’ve never figured out how to apply it in your life,” Morrissey says. “It just stays in the idea realm. With your purpose statement in mind… close your eyes [and start] to visualize a life where you are living in alignment with your deepest sense of purpose.”
Try on different possible futures using your imagination. As you do so, notice the people, places and activities that are part of that life. Morrissey asks you to ponder how “you feel inside the vision that you’re holding?…You’re either going to feel expansive or you’re going to feel contracted, like, ‘Oh, that feels like drudgery.’”
Step 7: Take an inspired step toward your life’s purpose
To begin moving into your life’s purpose, Morrissey advises taking steps, even small ones. “You don’t have to rearrange your whole life right off the bat,” she says. “But you do want to make sure you’re leaning into the vision you’re holding, [even with] small steps. [You should] feel progressive, and then you know you’re progressing.”
Ask yourself, “‘What could I do from where I am with what I have?’” she adds.
Step 8: Review and refine your life’s purpose
“Don’t think of this as a one-time life[‘s] purpose quiz,” Morrissey says. “Remember that your purpose isn’t set in stone. It’s okay for it to evolve as you grow and learn. … The key to staying connected is to [revisit] your passions—what brings you alive, your passions [and] talents [and] your desire to make a positive impact in the world.”
She understands that during this process, people may encounter naysayers—including themselves. When trying to envision your life’s purpose, you may immediately second-guess your gut instinct or convince yourself not to pursue your desires. You may even argue that you don’t have enough time, talent or skill to live out the life’s purpose you’ve identified. You may also talk yourself out of pursuing this purpose because doing so would require stepping from the known into the unknown, financially or otherwise.
“Know that it’s absolutely normal to have these thoughts. You’ve never done this before,” Morrissey says. “The patterns in the life we’ve known are like gravity, or there’s an undertow to pull you back to the familiar.” She advises treating finding your life’s purpose as an experiment that you’ll test by taking one step or spending a few minutes per day on it.
“It’s [about] ever seeking a freer, fuller, expanded version of itself, just like with a tree or a blade of grass. [You] will either move into a…hypnotic dead zone…or you [can] make the decision to see [that your] life matters,” she says. It all starts with asking what makes you feel alive.
Photo courtesy of Aleksey Matrenin/Shutterstock
