Everyone has a bad day here or there, but sometimes, there are larger periods when your co-workers need some extra support. Maybe they’ve had a big life event such as a death in the family, a new diagnosis, or a tragedy in their community. Perhaps they simply need a bit of extra grace for an ongoing health condition or while caregiving for a loved one.
With the amount of stress that the average worker is under these days, it’s never been more important to show your support for those around you, especially during the winter months when seasonal depression is at play. The key is knowing where to start and how to assist a co-worker who might be experiencing seasonal depression at work.
Why winter can be the most depressing season
Winter isn’t just the darkest time of year because of the lack of sun—for many, it also means an increase in stress, depression, and anxiety. Holidays are busy and full of commitments. They can trigger feelings of grief as loved ones are missed at gatherings and increase loneliness for those physically or emotionally distant from friends and family.
The decreased hours of daylight have an impact, too. About 5% of U.S. adults experience seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a form of depression common in winter months. Chances are at least a few of your co-workers or subordinates might be feeling low in the winter.
According to Keisha Saunders-Waldron, therapist and owner of Confidential Confessions Counseling Services, there are a few telltale signs that your coworkers might be struggling:
- Withdrawing socially, avoiding interactions, and/or acting more reserved
- Personal care changes
- Fatigue or being unusually tired
- Declines in productivity and missed deadlines
- Mood swings, irritability or heightened sensitivity
An employee or coworker showing any one of these symptoms on occasion isn’t a cause for concern, but if these symptoms are ongoing or show up simultaneously, it may be time to reach out.
Supporting your coworkers with seasonal depression
When approaching someone who seems to be having a rough time, Saunders-Waldron says that the “most important thing you can do is listen with empathy” and “create a space for honest dialogue.” Your goal should be to “seek to understand, not to be understood.”
Remember that you’re not a psychologist or therapist, so you can’t (and shouldn’t) try to diagnose anyone. Instead, Saunders-Waldron suggests approaching coworkers in a thoughtful, respectful way. Begin with “compassion and privacy” and “open a door without making assumptions.”
According to Saunders-Waldron, it’s best not to try and “fix” the situation. “Your role is to listen and offer support,” she says. “Be mindful that they may not be ready to discuss their feelings, and that’s OK. Let them know they have your support whenever they feel comfortable.”
What to say
It can be tricky to know where to start with a topic like mental health support, but Saunders-Waldron suggests a few statements to try:
- “I’ve noticed some changes in you lately, and I wanted to check in. Are you OK?”
- “I’m here for you if you ever need someone to talk to.”
- “It’s OK to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
- “I care about you and want to help. Let me know how I can make things easier.”
“When offering support, it’s essential to convey understanding without sympathy,” she says. You don’t want to come off as pitying or condescending. Even if you’ve experienced a similar period in your life, avoid suggesting that you know what they’re going through because chances are, you don’t. Every person experiences illness, grief, and other darker periods differently and may need different types of support.
How to help
For some people, talking it through may be enough. However, for most, helping where you can as a co-worker or manager can make a big difference in the person’s stress level as they manage their own personal challenges alongside work. The best way to find out what they need is a simple one—just ask them.
Sometimes when a person is struggling with seasonal depression, it can be hard for them to come up with ways to help, so it’s a good idea to come ready with suggestions in case they don’t know where to start. Below are a few from Saunders-Waldron, as well as ones that worked for me and my team at a former place of employment.
Ideas for managers
- Offer a more flexible schedule and/or more flexible work-from-home options as needed.
- Adjust workloads and deadlines when possible.
- Share information about any mental health resources your company provides, such as Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), mindfulness sessions, and mental health workshops. Make sure they’re familiar with the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and how it works at your company.
- Schedule regular check-ins to ensure they’re being supported the way they need to be. Be sure to check in with the rest of the team, too, to make sure no one is at risk of burnout.
- Advocate for and support a workplace culture that promotes mental well-being and provides a stigma-free environment where employees feel safe discussing mental health.
- Lead by example by keeping reasonable hours and a strong balance between home and work.
Ideas for coworkers
- Give grace with collaborative projects where you can. If something isn’t urgent and the person needs more time, be flexible.
- Offer to trade types of work that are most helpful to the person who is struggling. For instance, for several months after I lost my mom, I asked to primarily work on the mindless part of my job rather than the creative part, so I took on most of the monotonous work of my fellow editors while they took on the creative aspects of my job.
- Encourage your coworkers to take time off when they need it. Remind them not to overwork when things aren’t urgent. If you get emails after hours, ignore them until the morning.
- Do your best to support any accommodations that your coworker’s manager has approved, such as work from home or adjusted hours.
- If comfortable, share your own struggles to let the person know they aren’t alone in whatever they’re facing. Don’t try to “solve” it or suggest it’s the same, just emphasize that you know how important it is for them to take care of themselves.
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