Relationships take work even when they’re going well, but what about when they’re not? How do we continue building relationships when people only seem to be becoming more distant? How do we make our relationships not only deeper but more long-lasting? In times like these, it can help to turn to some of the best relationship books for advice and answers.
And even if your relationship is going swimmingly, these books can offer insight into maintaining and improving healthy relationships. And for those of you living single, don’t feel left out! Relationship books cover all types of bonds, including friendships, professional relationships with colleagues and familial relationships. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, identify toxic relationships and strengthen connections.
Find a cozy nook, sit in your favorite reading chair and dim the lights. Here are 10 of the best relationship books that can help you discover how to do anything, from cultivating new ones to improving—or pruning—the ones you have.
1. Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
By John Gottman, PhD, and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD
Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (592 Reviews)
While fighting too often isn’t healthy for a relationship, neither is a lack of fighting. Although it’s difficult and doesn’t always feel good, conflict can be healthy for a relationship. Well, that is, unless you resort to name-calling and petty jabs at one another.
That’s why there’s Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection. Penned by two PhDs, including the famed John Gottman, this New York Times bestseller delves into five secrets the most successful, happy couples know about managing conflict. The authors, who are also relationship scientists, have published their fair share of books on relationships across all stages, including marriage.
You’ll learn how to communicate more efficiently with your partner, so the next time a conflict arises, you can make it a valuable opportunity for a heart-to-heart that will strengthen your relationship.
Buy this book on Amazon.
2. Difficult Conversations Don’t Have to Be Difficult: A Simple, Smart Way to Make Your Relationships and Team Better
By Amy P. Kelly and Jon Gordon
Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (89 Reviews)
Life is all about tough conversations, whether professional or personal. That’s why Jon Gordon, a leadership author and speaker, teamed up with human resources expert Amy P. Kelly to publish Difficult Conversations Don’t Have to Be Difficult: A Simple, Smart Way to Make Your Relationships and Team Better.
This isn’t a book that throws advice at you page after page. Instead, it focuses on a fictional CEO named Ruth and how she takes an underperforming team to the top. If you’re in any type of leadership position, whether a managerial role at work or the head of the household at home, you can benefit from giving this one a read.
Buy this book on Amazon.
3. I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationship
By Michael S. Sorensen
Amazon Rating: 4.6 Stars (4,381 Reviews)
Remember how I mentioned the disconnect you can feel in a relationship? I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships is a book catered to people in that situation. This award-winning book focuses largely on validation and its important benchmark in forging and maintaining lasting relationships.
Michael Sorensen didn’t write this book only for couples, though. The book is geared toward any type of relationship that could benefit from fewer arguments, stronger feelings of respect, fewer fears and deeper connections—so, you know, every relationship in your life.
Buy this book on Amazon.
4. The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)
By Philippa Perry
Amazon Rating: 4.6 Stars (10,548 Reviews)
Parents across generations were all brought up differently; thus, when they become parents themselves, they have values unique to those their parents did. If you wish you had stronger, more open communication or affection with your parents and want to do better for your children, pick up The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did).
Penned by Sunday Times bestselling author Philippa Perry, this book centers around parenthood and all its trials, tribulations and complexities. Yet you can read it and still give your inner child the care they’re, perhaps, lacking.
Buy this book on Amazon.
5. Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty… And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself
By Dr. Aziz Gazipura
Amazon Rating: 4.6 Stars (2,302 Reviews)
Making other people happy is great…until someone takes advantage of your generosity and uses you as a doormat. However, breaking the habit can prove tough if you’re conflict-avoidant or notoriously people-pleasing. Fortunately, you have books like this one.
Admittedly, Dr. Aziz Gazipura’s book is controversial in the eyes of some, but it has good advice throughout. You’ll finally learn how to put your foot down, saying no and meaning it. And you’ll find your voice and discover how to use it. In short, you’ll establish setting boundaries in relationships across your life.
Buy this book on Amazon.
6. Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
By Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud
Amazon Rating: 4.6 Stars (3,061 Reviews)
Have you ever been kept out on a date way past your bedtime, not because you were interested, but because your company for the evening wouldn’t stop yammering on? Although setting boundaries before you’re officially in a relationship isn’t easy, it’s always worth it.
Henry Cloud and John Townsend get into the nitty-gritty of doing just that in Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships. They’ll help you realize when you’re chasing perfection so you can temper your expectations, address problems rather than keep your head in the clouds, and find friendship in any romantic partnership.
Buy this book on Amazon.
7. Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World
By Jennie Allen
Amazon Rating: 4.6 Stars (3,467 Reviews)
No list of the best relationship books feels complete without Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World. This award-winning New York Times bestselling book is about more than finding friendships. It’s about building a community.
Jennie Allen doesn’t want you to have just any kind of friendship. Instead, her book shows you how to build rock-solid relationships that improve your spiritual and mental health. You’ll learn how to initiate early conversations and hangouts, move on from awkward moments and handle conflict.
Buy this book on Amazon.
8. We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships
By Kat Vellos
Amazon Rating: 4.4 Stars (201 Reviews)
Friendships are the key to an enriching life. After all, when you lay out all of life’s burdens on your romantic partner, their load can become a lot to handle. Leaning on your friendships for some of life’s hardships and your partner for others prevents any one relationship from bearing too much of the brunt.
However, you need to have strong friendships before you can do that. We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships is all about doing just that. Better Than Small Talk creator Kat Vellos put together this book for anyone who makes friendships that fall through or struggles to cultivate strong, friendly bonds.
Vellos has answers for all adult friendship hurdles, from family demands to busy schedules and jobs. That’s why this is one of the best relationship books.
Buy this book on Amazon.
9. Power Couple Habits: Work Together to Gain the Clarity and Energy to Crush Your Goals
By Amy Noorda and Dr. Scott Noorda
Amazon Rating: 4.3 Stars (54 Reviews)
Another of the best relationship books to add to your reading list is Power Couple Habits: Work Together to Gain the Clarity and Energy to Crush Your Goals. Authors Scott and Amy Noorda offer advice for improving relationships, reducing stress, getting better sleep and fixing your nutrition.
One of the tips they suggest is a circadian reset, which they explain can improve your energy levels and sleep quality and even help you lose weight; a little effort can go a long way. And while the book is technically geared toward romantic relationships, you can apply their tips to platonic and work relationships, too.
Buy this book on Amazon.
10. How to Work with (Almost) Anyone
By Michael Bungay Stanier
Amazon Rating: 4.3 Stars (355 Reviews)
It’s estimated we spend 90,000 hours, or one-third of our lives, at work, so it helps to like who you’re working with. And, because offices can sometimes be a revolving door, you need to be ready for all sorts of personalities.
How to Work with (Almost) Anyone helps you meet those challenges. You’ll dig deep within yourself to learn how to set the stage for a successful relationship and build on the basics to strengthen bonds. Whether you want to work better with your boss or lead your team more efficiently, there’s valuable advice inside.
Buy this book on Amazon.
Cultivate More Meaningful Relationships
Relationships of any kind are a beautiful thing. Like any blooming flower, they need time, love, care and patience to cultivate and maintain. Picking up one of these best relationship books will unlock insights you need to work on your relationship skills and surround yourself with the kind of people you deserve.
Have you read any of these relationship books and learned valuable lessons? Do you have any other books in this vein to recommend? Leave a comment below.
This article was updated November 2024. Photo courtesy of ViDI Studio/Shutterstock
