1. Seek support.
Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you have to struggle alone. Enlist what Gabrielle Bernstein calls “spiritual running buddies” to encourage you on the down days and celebrate with you during the up days.
2. Have a simple mantra.
Bernstein’s recommendation is “sat nam,” which means, “Truth is my name.” The first few times you’ll try meditation will be frustrating. Your mind will wander and fight against the stillness. Just keep returning to your mantra and focus on your breathing
3. Carve out time for yourself.
It can be as simple as a warm bath before bed or 15 minutes to read your favorite book every morning. You can’t expect to love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first.
4. Be vulnerable.
Opening yourself up to love and true connection is difficult. We spend years, even decades, building walls against the possibility of pain. Set aside time to connect with your partner or close friend by reading a page from your journal or sharing past memories.
5. Let go of control.
Attempting to control our lives is not only ineffective, it’s also our ego proclaiming that we don’t need help. Practice daily control-releasing exercises. For example, the next time you’re running late for a meeting and everything seems to be going wrong, stop, take a deep breath and release your perceived control.
Read next: Gabby Bernstein Shows You How to Love Yourself First