Looking back on my 20s, I can’t help but reflect on the valuable life lessons I learned along the way. My experiences during that time—both triumphs and challenges—shaped who I am today. But I wish I was 21 again because knowing what I know now, there’s a lot I would have done differently.
Fortunately for you, my loss is your gain. I’ve compiled the 21 most profound lessons I learned in my 20s, so you don’t have to learn the hard way.
21 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew at 21
If I could go back and talk to my 21-year-old self, here’s what I would say.
1. Embrace Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. Instead of dwelling on them, learn from those mistakes and improve your process. Mistakes provide valuable lessons and opportunities for growth. So, instead of avoiding mistakes, adjust how you respond to them.
2. Say Yes Often
Stepping outside your comfort zone can be scary, but it’s rewarding. It can help you open up, try new things and discover new opportunities. Embrace the unknown and say yes to new adventures. Remember, saying yes doesn’t mean you have to do everything. It’s about being open to new experiences and taking calculated risks.
3. Less Is More
Focus on a few key efforts and avoid distractions. By specializing, you can achieve greater success and fulfillment. Remember, quality is more important than quantity. So, avoid taking on projects or commitments that distract you from your goals. Learn to prioritize your time and delegate unnecessary tasks, and you’ll fast-track your success.
4. Tell People How You Feel
Open communication is essential for healthy relationships. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings, whether positive or negative. Let others know how much you appreciate them, say “I love you” often and don’t hold grudges. Be assertive and express your needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully.
5. Learn To Love Change
Embrace change as a normal and necessary part of life. Resisting change leads to stress, unhappiness and stagnation. Change brings new opportunities, life lessons and novel experiences—so always look for the upside. Be adaptable, step outside your comfort zone and embrace new challenges.
6. You Don’t Have That Much To Lose
Don’t let fear hold you back. Take calculated risks and pursue your dreams. Remember, the biggest risks often lead to the greatest rewards, so start that business, go for that promotion or ask out your gym crush. In the immortal words of motivational guru Jack Canfield, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” And if you don’t reach for it, you’ve lost more than you could ever gain.
7. Stop Worrying About What Others Think
You are the only person who knows what’s best for you, so don’t let others’ opinions dictate your life. Focus on what you believe and what makes you happy, and avoid basing your self-worth on external approval. As you age, you’ll realize the only thing that truly matters is how you feel about yourself—and that real confidence comes from within.
8. Be Honest With Yourself and Others
Honesty is a core value to have in your 20s and beyond. When you’re honest with yourself, you can better understand your thoughts, feelings and motivations. This self-awareness can help you make better decisions and live more authentically. When you’re honest with others, you build strong relationships based on trust and respect. Relationships built on lies and half-truths will inevitably crumble.
9. Meet As Many New People As Possible
It may not always be clear, but the people you meet can help you. Each person you encounter is a potential source of support, guidance and opportunity. So treat everyone as you’d like to be treated and be willing to make new friends. The world is smaller than you think, and you’ll be amazed at who is connected to whom.
10. Find Time To Be Alone
Don’t be afraid to be alone; it can be incredibly rewarding. Spending time alone benefits your mental and emotional well-being, allowing you to connect with your inner self, reflect and recharge. So embrace solitude, explore your interests and discover what makes you happy.
11. Learn To Ask Great Questions
You don’t know what you don’t know, so start asking! Stay curious, listen more than you speak and ask great questions. If you’re in the right room, those around you will have wisdom and life lessons to offer. You just have to be willing to ask.
12. Leverage What You’ve Got
Everyone has unique strengths and talents. Instead of focusing on your limitations, focus on what you do well and use those skills to your advantage. Stevie Wonder, for example, used his ear for music to overcome the limitations of his blindness and became one of the greatest musicians of all time. You, too, can achieve great things by leveraging your strengths and pursuing them with determination.
13. Make People Feel Good
Never underestimate the power of a simple compliment, a sincere word of encouragement or an expression of appreciation. Kind words can brighten someone’s day and strengthen relationships. Plus, people tend to remember those who made them feel special, so you’ll be building your own support system in the process. Why not be a bright light in the world?
14. Invest In Yourself
Never. Stop. Learning. Yes, school ends at some point—but life is a journey. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. Learn a new skill, read a new book, learn a language, take a class, learn to dance, learn to play an instrument. Seek life lessons. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you invest in yourself and keep growing.
15. Find Something Challenging You Love Doing
Pursuing a passion that challenges you can be incredibly fulfilling. You’ll experience a sense of purpose and accomplishment every time you hit a new milestone. So explore your interests, try new things, set goals, find a mentor and don’t give up.
16. Learn To Love Yourself
You can’t possibly live a fulfilled life until you learn to love yourself completely. When you look in the mirror, tell yourself you’re brilliant, handsome or beautiful. Say it often. You’re unique, and no one looks, acts or thinks quite like you. Embrace it. Love it. Other people will only love you more for it.
17. Give Back To Others
As you incorporate these life lessons and begin to succeed, remember to help others along your path. Pay it forward to those who are just starting out. Giving back is incredibly rewarding and fulfilling.
18. Enjoy The Journey
Life is a journey, not a destination. Fall in love with the process and enjoy the ride. While achieving your goals is important, acknowledge the smaller moments along the way. Appreciate little victories and learn from mistakes. Take your time and relish each moment as if it were your last—because someday it will be.
19. It’s You Vs. You
Stop comparing yourself to others. You might never be the strongest person in the gym, the richest person on a Forbes list or the fastest person in a marathon. And if that upsets you, you’re missing the point. Instead, concentrate on being better today than you were yesterday. It may not happen immediately, but if you keep improving a little each day, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.
20. Take Big Risks
Go after what you want. Quit your job. Jump out of an airplane. Start a business. Walk up to the beautiful girl eating lunch alone and introduce yourself. You won’t always succeed, but you won’t always fail either. Go for it, see what happens, bask in your wins and learn from your losses.
21. Rediscover Who You Were Born To Be
Somewhere along the line, we forget what ignited our passions as children—things that made us feel creative and free. Some of us are born to be writers, poets, musicians, artists or entrepreneurs. Take the time to relearn what makes you feel alive and do more of that. Don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams; the world needs more people doing what they love.
In A Nutshell
Most of the life lessons I wish I knew when I was 21 boil down to these simple concepts: try new things, be kind, be curious and bet on yourself. With these principles in mind, you’ll be prepared to seize your 20s and set the foundation for an exceptional life. Now, get to it!
This article was published in September 2017 and has been updated. Photo by Soloviova Liudmyla/Shutterstock
