Taylor Swift is known for writing songs about her exes, and I decided to follow in her footsteps—except I can’t sing. Instead, I’ve written stories about the people I meet and shared the lessons I learned from them.
But because, as the founder of Phototherapy®, I was a pioneer in photographing the law of attraction, I had no precedent or idea of how to share my gift with the world.
I decided to look for a mentor who could help guide my steps into the unknown, because that’s what they’re there for—to be someone who provides guidance and support by sharing knowledge and wisdom, especially when you’re in the developmental stages.
Lessons learned when I lost a mentor
My mentor’s experience ended up being a perfect match with mine. But then something happened. He ditched me when I needed him most—I lost my mentor when it was time to execute all the great ideas we had collaborated on.
So, à la Swift, I shook it off and was inspired to write this blog post to share with you the eight lessons I learned after my mentor breakup.
1. People cannot give you what they don’t have.
If you don’t have it within you, you cannot give it. If you aren’t good at loving and giving to yourself, you won’t be very good at loving or giving to anyone else.
2. Don’t panic.
“Everything is figureoutable,” as Marie Forleo says. I figured out that I needed to find another mentor—one who knew how to give.
3. Trust that you lost your mentor for a reason.
Trust that the universe knows better than you, and that if this was meant to work out, it will. I needed to stay open to receive something better, to allow something new to enter my life. So I let go of my ideas of how things should work out and trusted that a mind greater than mine was rearranging the pieces of my life for my own good.
4. Be an optimist.
Stay grounded in your happiness and never let situations or people disturb your joy. Things might not go as planned, but that’s OK—we will survive it. It’s never the end; it’s a new beginning. The right people stay while the wrong people leave, allowing you to make space for bigger and better things.
5. Give power to the solution.
I needed to remind myself to be solution-oriented in my thinking, figure out a new plan of action and persevere.
6. Practice persistence.
Have courage and conviction of purpose, no matter how hard it seems. I realized this obstacle was worth overcoming in the big-picture vision for my life.
7. Accept change happens after you’ve lost a mentor.
It’s important to focus on how this change will be beneficial for you. I trained my brain to think of all the positive outcomes that could come from this and learned to find excitement in the idea of the opportunities that this challenge might push me toward.
8. Pass the test.
Sometimes I think the universe is testing my commitment to my goals, so I learned to stay focused on my purpose and keep thriving even in the midst of obstacles.
Although my mentor and I are “never ever getting back together,” as Swift sings, I now realize the gift I was given. I’ve learned so much from this experience that I can only be grateful to my mentor for teaching me these valuable lessons—chief among them being the reminder of my refusal to give up and my acceptance of the lessons the situation taught me. That is, to keep developing myself, to keep the right mindset in the face of adversity and to keep moving forward.
This article was updated April 2023. Photo by fizkes/Shutterstock
